crazycarl interview from "scared stiff reviews"

Crazy Carl Interview

Scared Stiff Gets Crazy: Author & Actor Carl Robinson Speaks About His Book “Fat on the Vine” and His Love of HorrorExclusive Interview by Geno McGahee - October 1, 2007
“Horror movies for me to really love them, I’d like to think that they really happened, based on true stories and documented truth…that makes the Texas Chainsaw Massacre that much more exciting for me." –Crazy Carl Robinson I have had the opportunity to read and review many books this year, but not one of them was as interesting as a book called: “Fat on the Vine,” by Crazy Carl Robinson. I discovered Crazy Carl in the horror movie, “Demon Summer,” a low budget flick, somewhat inspired by the Evil Dead, but interesting and ambitious, bringing the best possible product to the screen under those conditions. In one of the scenes, a minivan drives by with a man hanging out the window. “Excuse me ma’am, do you have a pair of your mama’s panties? Here have a pair of mine,” he screamed, throwing a pair of women’s panties at a group of bullies. That was Crazy Carl and that was hilarious.I spoke to the creator of “Demon Summer,” Luke Campbell, and he said what I had thought. That was all Carl and when I discovered that he had written a book that was “sort of strange” according to Luke, I had to read it, and I’m glad that I did. Fat on the Vine would offend some…it is raw and there are no punches pulled…nothing held back whatsoever. Carl writes from the heart and writes honestly, but has the ability to make a depressing situation funny. I found myself laughing aloud as I read through the pages, which is something that I don’t often do.Crazy Carl Robinson is a unique and talented writer that brings a perspective that I appreciate and I’m sure everyone else will as well. I hope that “Fat on the Vine” becomes a hit, as it should, because it presents something that everyone can relate to…especially the black sheep, the misfit, and the outcast. Scared Stiff had the chance to sit down with Crazy Carl Robinson and discuss his book, movie career, and his love of boxing. Ladies and Gentlemen, Scared Stiff presents Crazy Carl Robinson… GM: Your nickname of “Crazy Carl.” Is that something that you came up with or is that something that others called you because of your antics?I probably give the credit to my friend Nootie. It just sort of stuck after a while. In high school, I was “Big Red.” Undergrad, I had personalized license plates with my initials CMR and Bad…so they thought that I was “Commander Bad.” Crazy works the best.GM: How long did it take you to write: “Fat on the Vine?”I’d say two years. It seemed to work better in my parent’s basement. In my parent’s basement, with my mom yelling at me because my thoughts were dirty. I wrote better under those conditions…but I would say it took two years to write it all together.

GM: It took you some time to finally get “Fat on the Vine” out to the public. Was there some hesitation on your part about releasing it and if so, why?
No, actually, it is just a pain in the ass to get published. I thought when I wrote it that everyone would love it and everyone would read it and then nobody really cared that much. My friend Red helped a lot. He introduced me to a lot of people. He introduced me to people in the Underground Literary Alliance. My friend that runs Wing TV, Victor Thorn…he helped out a lot as well. Really, it’s connections with friends more than any mainstream publisher giving a shit.
GM: Did you encounter any scam artists or things of that nature while trying to get your book out there to the public because I know that a lot of publishing companies require an agent and you have many “agents” willing to take money without putting any real effort in?
I had agents when I first wrote it and somebody outside of St. Louis and I paid her 250 bucks and she sent me a Christmas card every year, and that was all she did. She’s a devil…I wish I remembered her name because I would tell you that I was going to get her (laughs). I got some scam artists, but I figured that I would roll the dice one time for the 250 bucks and it came up craps.
GM: I have referred to “Fat on the Vine” as the most honest book that I have ever read. How difficult was it for you to be so open and write such a book, knowing that it was going to go out to the public?
That was probably the ugliest time in my life. What was happening to me in that book was probably me going nuts, so it really didn’t matter what the public thought. It was just me bleeding….mentally bleeding…whatever.
GM: The book focuses a great deal on your mother, and her overly religious…near fanatical ways. Has she read your book and if so, what were her thoughts?
No, not at all. She’s petrified of it. My dad has seen the cover. She would say something like, “why don’t you write something that isn’t filth, so I can show it to somebody and be proud of you.” Honestly, in my old age, I don’t think she’s mean spirited…I think she’s afraid. She’s afraid of what the neighbors say…she’s afraid of her shadow. She’s afraid of germs. I don’t think that it comes from a mean place inside of her. I think she is just afraid. GM: Do you come from a family of writers? Oh no, a family of hillbillies.
GM: Because your book is so raw and controversial, are you afraid of any backlash from not only your family and perhaps even your work associates?
Oh yes, very much. I teach now and it’s part of my deal is to get published. One good thing is that it was ten years ago and the ones that would have been furious at me ten years ago have forgotten a little. I wrote it in my own special code and my own special spelling and language. I’m sure some people will be angry and try to trash me, I guess, but you kind of have to read it first. Ultimately, whoever trashed me would know I’m smart too, and ultimately, I’m harder on myself than anyone else and I thought that came through.
GM: Is this book the first in a series or is it dependent on if “Fat on the Vine” gets published and is successful?
I’ve written two other ones: “Dead in the Head,” which I would say is meaner, and “My Parent’s Medicine,” which is a little bit lighter. I come out of the darkness and get my Karma a little bit better. I have always thought of them as a trilogy, but if it took nine years for the first one, maybe expect Dead in the Head in 2016 and My Parent’s Medicine in 2025. You may as well keep the faith.
GM: How did your book signings go and how was that experience over all?
Pretty cool…actually. Maybe one of the better weeks of my entire life. The first one was in Baltimore with anarchist feminists and I came out and said, I know you are all poor…let’s all fight the power and we can trade panties for books, and the anarchist feminists didn’t like that. Then they called for some nutty Crazy Carl stories of me…or I should say the character, stealing shit, and the anarchist feminists didn’t like that. I apologized to them a lot on stage. Philadelphia was a ULA reading at a Satanist bookstore and actually the Satanist was cool, but he had a sign in the bathroom stating how long to hold the handle to flush it. I think that they have blood/sugar/sex/magic parties there, and we called my friend “The Big Handsome” from stage and a girl called on speakerphone and asked if she could come over to the Big Handsome’s house and cut herself and the Big Handsome said that it would be awesome. It was funny…the crowd laughed. New York was pretty fancy. I saw my friend from undergrad…had a nice dinner. Cleveland was Red’s hometown show, with two bands and like seventy-five people there. The main band was “The Dad of Rock.” In Chicago, Julie’s aunt was in the crowd. There were only seven or eight people there but it was really my best show, and my last show was in Pittsburgh…it was pretty fancy. They had a nice display for us. It was a really nice bookstore and my friend Lauren came…a little shout out.
GM: Was there any reaction from Julie’s aunt?
I never met Julie’s aunt. I have seen pictures of her. I’m 92% sure that it was Julie’s aunt. I send Julie a care package every year for her birthday and Christmas and I’ve never got a response. I sent her the book as well, and I’m just about sure that her aunt was in the crowd.
GM: I’m sure if you sent Julie the book she’d read it.
I’m just hoping that her parents didn’t read it. Her aunt was quite classy. If Julie’s aunt is reading this, she was quite classy.
GM: Overall, how has the reaction been to your book?
If I’m telling the truth…nobody really gives a shit. I have four more boxes of copies in my closet. We got some good media attention for the tour itself. We got some good attention from local newspapers. We had some pretty good write ups. I sent it out to fifty reviewers and you’re one of the few that is cool enough to contact me and talk to me and I’m still hopeful, but I don’t think that Oprah is going to call.
GM: Have you done any follow up with these fifty reviewers that you sent it to?
Actually my friend, Red…I’m not going to mention any names, but he would send it to a mainstream reviewer and a week later they were selling his book on EBAY. His book is “The Pornographic Flabbergasted Emus,” if I’m giving another shout out.
GM: You have been in 3 Campbell Brothers Movies: Midnight Skater, Demon Summer, and The Red Skulls. How did you get involved with the Campbell Brothers and are you planning a return to the movies?
Yeah, I would love to be in another one of their movies, but Luke is living in Cleveland now and Andy moved to Texas and I live in Iowa, so maybe some kind of summer visit in Cleveland maybe. Six or seven of those people were actually my students, in my English Class.
GM: It had to be weird for them to approach you…
It probably depends on how much of a freak I was. It probably wasn’t that tough at all.
GM: In Demon Summer, you throw a pair of women’s panties at the bullies, and in Midnight Skater, you buy drugs with women’s panties. Even in your book, you mention hiding women’s panties in a game box…
The Bigfoot: The Giant Snow Monster Game…I should say that if anyone is going into my parents’ house to look for that game…it’s still there, but just this summer, I took all the contraband out. So, the game is still there, but it is empty. The only thing that is in there is the Bigfoot Giant Snow Monster.
GM: I would hate to see it end up at a tag sale and some unsuspecting person picking it up and wondering why are panties included in a Sasquatch game…
Or my mother giving it away to my seven year old second cousin…
GM: So is that where it came from? Is there an inside joke about that women’s panties?
Maybe a little subtle self promotion. You can tell from the book. Fighting the power for big fat dudes, occasionally I would steal panties. Not from someone I thought was cool…maybe a distant acquaintance or from somebody at a party.
GM: Considering your creativity and skill as a writer, have you thought about writing a screenplay?
People have told me that I remind them of Jack Black and I should “Fat on the Vine” to him so he can win an Oscar. I thought about doing that about a month and a half ago and I still haven’t done it, but probably the next break I get, I might do it. The closest I would come to sending it to Hollywood is to send it to a guy like Jack Black.
GM: As far as horror films go, what are your favorites and why?
I thought that maybe you’d ask me this, and I read the variety on Scared Stiff Reviews, and I may have seen one of every seven you’ve seen and that comes, I think, from my small hometown in Virginia, where there’s one grocery store and one traffic light. Comic book dudes will say, “Dude you have to read this new comic…such and such,” and my little town had a CVS and they may have had a Batman and a Spiderman… but back to your question. I’m pretty fond of “The Shining.” That’d be in my top ten. Mother’s Day…I wouldn’t say that that was one of my favorites, but four in the morning and all f#$%ed up one night, that was on and it was on. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is obviously a classic. If I’m telling the truth…my dad’s pick up truck…the 1971-1972 Chevy pick up truck at the end that saves the girl…that’s my dad’s pick up truck. Horror movies for me to really love them, I’d like to think that they really happened, based on true stories and documented truth…that makes the Texas Chainsaw Massacre that much more exciting for me.
GM: Boxing…who got you interested in the sport and who are your favorite fighters?
My dad boxed in the Army, so he had always loved boxing. To tell you the truth all men from the 1950’s era, loved boxing. Muhammad Ali was the first one that I really noticed. I love Mike Tyson…not necessarily for the life he lived, but before he went on the meds, there was no social filter. Every celebrity says what they think we want to hear and for a long time, Tyson just said the first thing that popped into his head, and I loved that. I love Sonny Liston. I love the bad guy whether it’s professional wrestling or boxing. If it is set up with the good guy versus the bad guy, I’m always rooting for the bad guy.
GM: You don’t follow the sport now. Was there something that turned you off to it or was it just the decline and eventual disappearance of Mike Tyson from boxing?
I did my dissertation on professional boxing and wrestling. It took the better part of eleven years of me turning something in and the dude not liking it. I spent so much time writing about boxing and wrestling, that I was just about sick of it. Partly, I like heavyweights, and I’m a big dude, and I would think that the next time that a really big and talented heavyweight came around, it would peak my interest again.
GM: You said that you did your dissertation on professional wrestling and boxing. How much of a fan of pro wrestling were you?
When I was a kid, professional wrestling was my favorite thing. I am really starting to hate it now.
GM: I’m with you on that. I was raised on professional wrestling and the storylines are just horrible and it’s become like the music industry…empty and focusing on the bells and whistles instead of good dialogue and stories.
Honestly, once Vince McMahon pulled the curtain away and said that it was fake…and now the only real thing is when somebody dies or there is a tit slip. And now it’s like a bad Monday night soap opera.
GM: Do you have any closing thoughts for the readers and for the people that have and haven’t read your book?
My concept when I wrote it was blood real. What I put down on the page was what I was feeling at that time. I think that my Karma is much better now. I teach. I’m with nuns all day. I help people. I’m nice to people. If I was naughty in 1997, I can mature and grow and maybe change my Karma and do good work now. I wasn’t pulling any punches, if I’m talking boxing speech. If I can tell when I’m reading a book and somebody is being blood real, I respect that. They’re not spinning a plot or showing me how well they can write. They are just telling me the truth…their truth.
(Interviewer’s Note: Crazy Carl Robinson is one of the funniest people that I have ever met. His wit and humor come out on the pages of “Fat on the Vine,” and I am highly recommending it. If you want something different and something that will make you laugh and probably have you scratching your head a couple of times, this is the book. It is an amazing read.)